Depression/Anxiety, Trauma

Change is Hard (Part II) — Why?

Change # 2Is change possible?

As a therapist, I have to believe that people can change. Otherwise, what’s the point of psychotherapy if a person will feel miserable for the rest of his/her life because of his/her personality? Also, what can “I,” as a therapist, do, to facilitate the change? Or, in another word, based on the research result, how can I assist a person’s motivation to change?

It got me to think about the question: why don’t we take action to make changes even when we stuck in the miserable place? Continue reading “Change is Hard (Part II) — Why?”

Depression/Anxiety

Change your thoughts doesn’t necessarily lead to change your feelings.

change thoughts change feelings

If you google the effectiveness of “XXXX” (depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc., just put in any symptoms), you will found tons of articles finding the evidence supporting Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). I also have many clients told me that they had received CBT for years. 

“However, it did make sense when I talked to my therapist, but I just can’t make myself feel differently.” ~ my clients said. 

Why? Shouldn’t you feel “better” if “it makes sense” after the talk therapy?

Does change how you see things really change how you feel?

Continue reading “Change your thoughts doesn’t necessarily lead to change your feelings.”

Cedar Cove, Couple, Depression/Anxiety

Family Life Cycle and Couple Relationship: What Does Cedar Cove Teach Us (Part 5)

launching children
Just a friendly reminder that you might want to read these articles before you started reading this entry.

Family Life Cycle Theory (Reuben Hill, 1949): Stage 5: Launching children and moving on

Once the first child leaves for college, the couple enters into the stage of launching the children and moving on. When the last child leaves the family, the couple enters the empty nest stage. The important tasks for the couple are to realign their relationship with the adult children as they did when they were a young adult with their parents, to “fill” space once occupied by their children, and to deal with the issues from the aging parents.

Continue reading “Family Life Cycle and Couple Relationship: What Does Cedar Cove Teach Us (Part 5)”

13 Reasons Why, Book Club: Fiction to Reality, Depression/Anxiety, Trauma

From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” — Epilogue

13reasonswhyepilogueEpilogue —— Death and Its Lesson

Well, that’s it, I finished my writing with this series, “13 Reasons Why”. This entry will be the last article about this drama series. I hope you enjoyed reading it and I am looking forward to your feedback.

Before I closed my writing on this series for good (unless there is something good to follow up in season 2), I want to talk about the issue of “death.”

Continue reading “From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” — Epilogue”

13 Reasons Why, Book Club: Fiction to Reality, Depression/Anxiety, Trauma

From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” – “Facing the truth about rape” (Part II)

13reasonswhyrape(Please Read “Facing the Truth about Rape Part I” first.)

Reaction 2: “If it truly happened, why didn’t she do something to stop it?”
You might say I should have done more. At that moment I was already dead.
~ Hannah Baker, Ep 12

Hannah said this after Bryce raped her. Her reaction was typical victim’s reaction: frozen. She also was frozen when she witnessed Bryce raped Jessica. So, before we question the victims “not doing more,” the reality is they can’t because their mind and body are in a status of shock and frozen to do more.

More so, we know that many victims lost their lives because of fighting against the perpetrators. At that moment, it’s either fight and possibly lose your life or let the perpetrator hurt you. So, are we blaming the victims who fought to survive for not fighting the rape? Continue reading “From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” – “Facing the truth about rape” (Part II)”

13 Reasons Why, Book Club: Fiction to Reality, Depression/Anxiety, Trauma

From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” – “Facing the truth about rape”(Part I)

13reasonswhyrape

Wanna know what’s worse than being a rapist? Hiding behind one. Fucking justifying a fucking rapist, that’s worse.You want to get the story straight? We all know the story. Everything Hannah said on the tapes is true.
~Alex, EP12

I think it’s about time we stop think about what Hannah wants but what she needs and Jessica, and every girl who “practically beg Bryce to fuck her”.”
~ Clay Jensen, EP 13.

Years of working with survivors of childhood sexual abuse have taught me this: there are two sources of wounds contributing to the trauma: the sexual abuse itself and the responses from the people close to the survivors. When I was working on my doctoral dissertation, I went back and forth reading the literature debating which one caused the trauma or PTSD. There is no conclusion, and the only conclusion is both of them contributed to the trauma and post-trauma experiences. Continue reading “From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” – “Facing the truth about rape”(Part I)”