Couple, Depression/Anxiety

New Year Resolution 2019: Take Charge of the Change

scrabble resolutions
Photo by Breakingpic on Pexels.com

Now that the Holiday season is coming to the end, most people are at the “the resolution preparation” mode. I certainly feel my 2018 flies by so quickly, especially at the end of 2018. Earlier this year, I made a decision to move my office to a new location. In October, I started to plan the move and in November, I was busy with the move. In December, I am still adjusting to the new office and still trying to put everything to its place.

I certainly have a lot of changes in 2018.

As I reflect this past year and the decision to move, I realized that I had learned something about CHANGE to help with my 2019 planning.

Continue reading “New Year Resolution 2019: Take Charge of the Change”

Depression/Anxiety, Podcast of the Week

[Podcast of the Week]{12/17/18} 10 Non-Psychological Causes of Anxiety And Depression

pow 121718Anxiety and depression are the two most commonly known mental health issues adults facing in the USA. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, 40% of the adults 18 years and older suffer from Anxiety, and 6.7%of the U.S. population age 18 and older has Major Depressive disorder.

 

So, anxiety and depression are “mind” problem, right? I engage in meditation, exercise, and yoga to maintain my mental health and have read many articles about how different cardio and breathing activities can help to calm our brain and to help with depression and anxiety. So, is there anything non-psychological related that have a connection with depression and anxiety?

Continue reading “[Podcast of the Week]{12/17/18} 10 Non-Psychological Causes of Anxiety And Depression”

Depression/Anxiety, Podcast of the Week

[Podacst of the Week][12/3/18] Angry? Try Loving Kindness

pow120318Anger is one of the seven innate emotions. (Anger, fear, sadness, disgust, surprise, trust, and joy are seven innate/primary emotions, meaning, not learned). Anger is also commonly seen feelings in the therapy room. Many clients said: “I don’t like myself getting angry.” Many spouses said: “I don’t talk to my partner because he/she gets angry.”

Somehow, we can’t avoid anger because it’s an innate, but we don’t like angry responses because it pushes people and ourselves away.  Continue reading “[Podacst of the Week][12/3/18] Angry? Try Loving Kindness”

Depression/Anxiety, Trauma

When the chaos becomes norm

chaos

A week ago on Thursday, 9/13/2018……..

It was like a regular late afternoon. I finished the 4 pm session and ready for my 5 pm session. Suddenly, my phone rang, and I ignored it to start the 5 pm session. At 6 pm, as I said goodbye to the clients, there was plenty of message on my phone, including one cancellation. This was when I realized that there was a gas line explosion in Andover, North Andover, and Lawrence. My office is located on the town line of these three towns and, thus, the cancellation.

Continue reading “When the chaos becomes norm”

Depression/Anxiety, Podcast of the Week

[Podcast of the Week] [091718]Surviving Overwhelming Feelings

pow 091718
We all get overwhelmed at times. I have better days than others. That’s why when I saw this podcast popped up in my podcast. My takeaway from this podcast about how to survive when you feel overwhelmed? 

“Take control” vs. “Being controlled.”

Often, we are overwhelmed because there are too many things going on at the same time and we don’t know where to start and which one should be the priority. Once these overwhelming feelings begin to become the norm, we get lost and often become anxious and depressed. Why? We are anxious about the things that haven’t done and its consequences. Lacking the sense of accomplishment also makes us feel bad about ourselves and, in the long run, becomes a depressive feeling. 

To prevent yourself from getting overwhelmed, the most crucial step is to take control instead of being in control. In another word, you have to either prevent flooding from happening or to intervene when the overwhelming feelings already arrived as soon as you can. 

Continue reading “[Podcast of the Week] [091718]Surviving Overwhelming Feelings”

Depression/Anxiety, Podcast of the Week, Trauma

[Podcast of the Week] [091018]”Your life is here, not somewhere else.”

pow091018
To say Elizabeth Gilbert’s book “Eat, Pray, Love” changed my life ten years ago is an understatement. It was the last year of my doctoral program, and I was working crazy to support myself while trying to finish my dissertation. In the meantime, getting that degree meant that I would not be able to work on campus as a research assistant, which implied that I would be unemployed. I was so uncertain as to where I would be going. The guy I was dating at the time wasn’t sure about our future, and I wasn’t sure if I should bank my future based on a guy’s indecisiveness. 

I lost the appetite of my life” was the sentence stuck with me in “Eat, Pray, Love” since then.  I was stunned when reading this sentence because that was how I felt at the time. Her courage to go on a journey to find herself again, in spite of “not being responsible” in many people’s eyes, opened my eyes. 

So, when the “Big Magic” came out, I had to read it. The “Big Magic” podcast is my entry into the podcast world. 

You do not need to be an artist to listen to this podcast. You do not need to do something creative to listen to this podcast. I found myself getting inspired to live my life creatively and genuinely after hearing to the two seasons of this podcast. 

Continue reading “[Podcast of the Week] [091018]”Your life is here, not somewhere else.””

Couple, Depression/Anxiety

Which role do you play, victim, persecutor, or rescuer? — Drama Triangle “I am OK. You are OK.”

drama triangle

In the interpersonal relationships, we all shift in different roles in different relationships. As I mentioned above, we even play these roles with ourselves at times. However, if we regularly locked in specific roles in our lives, we lose the flexibility to live our lives here and now. That is, we lose the flexibility to behave based on the situation and people involved. We become to live the life to fulfill the expectation of that particular role. No one wants to continually rescue other people. No one likes to be frustrated and critical of other people’s behaviors all the time. No one wants to feel like a victim and powerless in his/her own life all the time. When we are fixed at a certain role, we lose the joy to live our lives to the fullest potential. We also start to accumulate resentment and dissatisfaction.  Continue reading “Which role do you play, victim, persecutor, or rescuer? — Drama Triangle “I am OK. You are OK.””