Is there any family story that has a significant impact on how you become who you are? How is the storyline play out in your life?
This is the picture with my friend, colleague, and previous supervisor. Lu-Sheng. We always got together when I went back to Taiwan. She was my supervisor when I was in my 20s for 3 years until I left Taiwan to come to the US. When I was under her supervision, my work was primary with… Continue reading [Going Home 2017] Grow Together
When I sat on the table with my friends, I realized how my intention has had the impact on my clinical work, especially the couple’s work. I always like to ask my clients: “what’s the first impression about each other?” and “what made you decide to move your relationship to the next level (dating exclusively, engaged, married, etc.)?” That intention, consciously or unconsciously, will have an impact on the course of your life.
This realization made me think about my dissertation outcome, which I have not made any connection until this visit. In my dissertation focused on the couple interaction when the female partner is the adult survivor of the childhood sexual abuse, I found that, one of the partners would copy from his/her parents’ behaviors/belief/emotions while the other partner would used his/her child coping strategies with the abused parents.
Essentially, everyone is from different family culture. We all bring different values from our family of origin to our family of creation. Every behaviors, ritual, and values often have a family story behinds it. Once the couple is able to hear the stories behind the behaviors., they have to decide how to create a shared meaning of these rituals/values/behaviors in their family of creation.
Murray Bowen, the psychiatrist, family theorist, and family therapist, once described family therapy as a person going back home. Maybe I haven’t been home for 6 years. Maybe I have experienced many different changes in the past 6 years. I experienced some very interesting feelings during this time.