Resources for Couples

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This resource page collected all the books, videos, and recent researh updates related all the couple issues. I have personally read through all the articles and watched the videos before I posted them here. As to the books, once I read through the books, I will update my reflections. If the link to the boos are connected to the goodreads, that is very likely the books are still on my to-read or currently reading list. I also appreciate your feedbacks as to whether the information is usful to you or not. 

This page will be updated regularly.


  • Books

John Gottman (2000)
The seven principles for making marriage work

  • Videos (coming soon)

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  • Articles (coming soon)

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New Parents

  • Books

John Gottman & Julie Gottman (2007)
And Baby makes three: The six-step plan for preserving marital intimacy and rekindle romance after baby arrives

  • Videos (coming soon)

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  • Articles

Keep calm and carry on: Mothers with emotional and cognitive control helps kids behave
They not only found that mothers who had higher emotional and cognitive control were less likely to report poor child conduct, such as fighting with other children or throwing tantrums when they don’t get what they want, but they also found relationships between a mother’s control abilities and parenting behaviors. For example, mothers with better emotional control were less likely to see their children’s ambiguous behavior in the worst light.”

4 Key Issues for New Parents and How to Solve Them

Four key issues: differences in parenting styles, changes in intimacy, fair distribution of chores, and financial disagreement


  • Books

Michele Weiner-Davis (2003).
The Sex-Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido: A Couple’s Guide

David Schnarch (2009)
Intimacy & Desire: Awaken the passion in your relationship

  • Videos

Blended Families

  • Books (coming soon)
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  • Videos (coming soon)

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Parents in a “yours, mine and ours” family hold three parenting roles: one each for the two families that blended, and a third when a child is born into the blended family. The study found parents with three roles were 57 percent more likely to be depressed than those with just a single parenting role. Shafer said that there’s inherently bumpiness that comes with the process of blending two different families.
The risk is even higher for fathers in such blended families when a father has biological children who don’t live with him. Shafer says that’s driven partially by feelings of guilt for spending more time with his new children than his older children. The dynamic also shifts when a new baby comes along.


  • Books

David Schnarch (2009)
Passionate marriage: Keeping love and intimacy alive in committed relationship

         Susan Johnson (2008):

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

John Gottman, Julie Gottman, Doug Abrahms, Rachel Carltom Abrahms (2019)
Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Liftime of Love

  • Videos 

   Communicating Household Chores

   Committment to Marriage, Emotional Engagement Key to Wives’ Happiness

Affair Recovery

  • Books
  1. Abrahms Spring (1997)
    After the affiar: Healing the pain and rebuilding trust when a partner has been unfaithful
  2. Janis Abrahms Spring (2005)
    How can I forgive you? The courage to forgive, the freedom not to 
  3.        Michele Weiner-Davis (2017)
    Healing from infidelity: The divorce busting guide to rebuild your marriage
    after an affair
  4.        Easter Perel (2017)
    The state of affairs: Rethinking indidelity
  5.        Shirley Glass (2004)
    Not just friends