Christmas Spirit Past
So, what can you do to help yourself? Christmas past is the first stop. Take a look at your list with the items that you cannot change. Try to complete break down that list with: who, when, where, how, and why.
So, it might look like:
Who: mother-in-law
When: the first Christmas when we got married
Where: at my mother-in-law’s house
Why: the story is………..
Then, asked yourself:
1. What’s the worst part of that memory?
2. When you think about the worst part of the memory, what are the words that go with that feeling, starting with “I.”
So, the story might be: The worst part of the memory was everyone got a gift, and I was the only one who didn’t have a gift. My mother-in-law pretended nothing happened and my husband looked at me embarrassed but said nothing. When I thought about that memory, “I don’t belong to this family. I don’t belong here. I am alone here.”
When you itemized these memories, you might start to get a theme, such as “I don’t belong,” “I am alone” etc.
Now, let’s look at the Christmas present, is that also the same feeling you have now when you think about the upcoming family gathering or no gathering?
So, now, the million dollar question is what you can to change the same storyline that’s going to happen on Christmas 2016?
It depends on your answers from the Christmas past and Christmas present, right? Everyone’s storyline and feelings are going to be very different. I don’t have a cookie-cutter answer for you. What you can do is go back to making a list of what you can do and control vs. you can’t do and cannot control.
Just like Scrooges needs the Christmas Spirits to help him get out his slump, you might also need professional help to change the same storyline over and over again every year. Please don’t hesitate to seek the professional help. We all need someone in our lives to get us through tough times. More importantly, just like Scrooges receiving the help from the spirits, with the help of some professionals, you might change how you feel in the future. Otherwise, your next holiday season might be the same as this year, just like Scrooges’.
Final words…..
I hope you have gotten to know your Scrooge inside of you better through this series. Holiday season can be stressful. I hear you. It can also be a good time to reflect on yourself throughout this year and to make changes for next year. I want to take this space to thank all my clients who allowed me to be part of their lives in the year of 2016, no matter short or long. I am looking forward to having a chance to be part of your transformation in the year of 2017.
Happy Holidays. Good-bye, 2016 and Hello 2017.
Coping with the Holiday Stree; Loving the Scrooge in You series