Couple

[Relationship] Expectations & Fairness

ExpectationsYou might have already guessed that I am a mediator and practice yogaregularly as my self-care routine (and running, too). Meditation helps me calm down my inner voices. Meditation shuts down my inner voices so that I can listen to my clients to the best I can empathetically. It also helps me to set my emotions back to 0 at the end of the day so that I can be as clear as I can for every client the following day.

I like to go to the meditation retreat once in a while. You might wonder why I attend the retreat and sit quietly with a group of people without talking to each other would be something fun. The exciting thing is, when I sit with a group of people without speaking, I actually feel at my most peaceful time and very connected with human beings (in spite of them all being strangers to me), without being judged by anyone’s words.

During those quiet moments in the meditation, when no one but me peeking inside my head, I see my “judgment” coming and going, judgment about people, about the world, and about myself. Being able to see these judgments in my head helps me to maintain a sense of compassion in my life, especially in my line of work.

So, you might not be surprised at all when I also realized that not only do I have “judgment” about human beings in my head, I also have “expectations” about human beings in my head too.

Before I go into the length of the wisdom of the “expectation” and the impact on the relationship with others and self, let me fill you in with the background story. Continue reading “[Relationship] Expectations & Fairness”

Couple

[Couple Communication] What Really Happened?

premarital 4

Yoga was one of my daily routines. I have been practicing yoga for a few years now but started to get serious after a yoga retreat last year. Going to the yoga class was difficult because of my schedule. So, I often do “YouTube Yoga,” watching yoga at home.

One of the mornings this week, as I was practicing yoga, I paid more attention to the instruction from the teacher while watching my posture in the mirror. Suddenly, I realized that I wasn’t holding the pose as the way the instructor was saying.

It made me realize this: what I do is not what I think what I did in my head. That is, what I did and what I think I did are two different things.

This realization immediately thinks about the communication in the couple’s relationship. How many times we did or said what we think we did or said? How many times what we think we understand is not what we actually heard?

Continue reading “[Couple Communication] What Really Happened?”

Couple, Pre-Marital Couple Education

Premarital Couple’s Education: Interview by the Valley Girls on 6/21/2017

Interview by the Valley Girls on 6/21/2017.

I had a great time with these two girls, Lysa & Leslie, who are so down to the earth. Also, thanks to their fantastic producer, Lou, for the great questions.