crucial questions to maintain “I am OK and You are OK”: 

What is the current situation? Be matter of the fact. 
    2. What are your feelings about the situation? Not your judgment of the people involved but your emotions. 

   3. What’re your preferences of the solution if any? Why does that solution make sense to you based on the situation? 

  4. What are you needs to be fulfilled in the situation?

Do you feel regularly lock into a specific role and still unable to get out of it?

If the answer is yes, please seek professional help. You deserve to live a satisfied and fulfilled life, and you do not need to figure this out alone.