Change is scary, but it helps to take charge instead of being pushed to change.
By understanding and accepting your partner’s feelings and perspectives, you offer your acceptance. More importantly, by following your partner’s different experiences from his/her family of origin, you and your partner can lead into the discussion to build a new tradition and give a new meaning of the holiday tradition in your family of creation.
No matter it’s Chinese, American, or Hispanics, etc.. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard the partner by marriage saying: “You made me feel like an outsider;” while the partner who is biologically related to the extended family saying: “I am stuck in the middle between my spouse/partner and my parents.”
Equal partnership is vital for a healthy relationship. However, what does equal mean to you when it comes to the relationship? Do you have to divide every responsibility to 50%? Alternatively, do you see the equality as an overall assessment of your “give and take” balance?
When we ask for the support from our significant other, especially when it relates to our partners’ behaviors, we want to be as specific as his/her behaviors as possible to avoid it to become a personal attack and so that our partners can understand how we feel.