Embracing Feeling Broken (Part I)
I am a meditator. After getting myself a cup of coffee in the morning, I find a guided meditation on my Insight Timer app to
March 18, 2024
I am a meditator. After getting myself a cup of coffee in the morning, I find a guided meditation on my Insight Timer app to
(Multiple Truth Part I) Gottman couple’s therapy always starts with the couple’s history intake and then offering my take after the assessment. On the way
Multiple Truth~ ~~ Post-show Reflection from a Couple Therapist’s Viewpoints ~~~ (Part I) I went to watch “Becoming a Man” at the American Reparatory Theater (Cambridge,
This theory tremendously helpful to understand the couples’ relationship history. It helps to see how the couples transit from one stage to another and whether they made the transition successfully. If not, it helps me and the couple to evaluate how have they tried to cope with the issues successfully or destructively. Even in the “complicated situation” such as divorce or blended family, the theory also helps me and the couple to see what are the needs for them to cope with being different stages in their relationship.
“Later, because of their daughters. Dan and Grace had tried hard to make their marriage work……Dan deeply loved his daughters. Grace never questions his devotion to them, but she seriously doubted he was still in love with her.”~ Grace Sherman, “16 Lighthouse Road”
Everyone, including myself, spends a lot of time worrying, planning, and thinking about the future from our experiences in the past. When it comes to the interaction with the human beings, it is all about now.
Our first step is to help her feel safe when she is in school or at home, especially when she is at the place where the perpetrator is around. Then, we will have to talk about what’s her next step. No matter she decided to press charges or not, there is always something a counselor can help other than “moving on.” Many victims cannot take the stand to file for the legal actions because we don’t make them believe that we believe their stories and we will be with them along the way. The process of figuring out what she wants to do can take a while already. When the client feels that he/she is locked into a “yer or no” situation, that’s they often feel trapped.
What we don’t often think about is the reaction from “the innocent bystander” also have a significant impact on the victims. These reactions include but not limited to: doubt, questions, and implications that the victims “ask for it” and no reaction.
1. Being vulnerable doesn’t mean you are weak. It says you are strong enough to show your true self.
2. Being vulnerable allow you to transform your shame and helplessness into compassion and action.
when you can face the shame, leave the judgment, face your sadness instead of anger, and allow yourself to be vulnerable about your needs, you can transform yourself from helpless and hopeless to compassion towards yourself and others.
I am Dr. Grace Chen, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.