Multiple Truth (Part II)
(Multiple Truth Part I) Gottman couple’s therapy always starts with the couple’s history intake and then offering my take after the assessment. On the way
March 5, 2024
(Multiple Truth Part I) Gottman couple’s therapy always starts with the couple’s history intake and then offering my take after the assessment. On the way
Multiple Truth~ ~~ Post-show Reflection from a Couple Therapist’s Viewpoints ~~~ (Part I) I went to watch “Becoming a Man” at the American Reparatory Theater (Cambridge,
“Maybe there is no solution. Maybe there is no compromise on how to proceed. However, there is certainly an extensive understanding and compassion to where the other parties are coming from.”
By understanding and accepting your partner’s feelings and perspectives, you offer your acceptance. More importantly, by following your partner’s different experiences from his/her family of origin, you and your partner can lead into the discussion to build a new tradition and give a new meaning of the holiday tradition in your family of creation.
No matter it’s Chinese, American, or Hispanics, etc.. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard the partner by marriage saying: “You made me feel like an outsider;” while the partner who is biologically related to the extended family saying: “I am stuck in the middle between my spouse/partner and my parents.”
Equal partnership is vital for a healthy relationship. However, what does equal mean to you when it comes to the relationship? Do you have to divide every responsibility to 50%? Alternatively, do you see the equality as an overall assessment of your “give and take” balance?
Maybe, we should start to learn to pay more attention to how our partners receive love and learn to give the love our partners want to be loved. In the meantime, we also learn to ask or teach our partner how we want to be loved.
When we ask for the support from our significant other, especially when it relates to our partners’ behaviors, we want to be as specific as his/her behaviors as possible to avoid it to become a personal attack and so that our partners can understand how we feel.
“No one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone. That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it.” – Paulo Coelho
“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” – Paulo Coelho
I am Dr. Grace Chen, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.
Heal Trauma, Change Pattern, Find Purpose and Fulfillment, Transform Life Path & Relationship
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