By understanding and accepting your partner’s feelings and perspectives, you offer your acceptance. More importantly, by following your partner’s different experiences from his/her family of origin, you and your partner can lead into the discussion to build a new tradition and give a new meaning of the holiday tradition in your family of creation.
No matter it’s Chinese, American, or Hispanics, etc.. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard the partner by marriage saying: “You made me feel like an outsider;” while the partner who is biologically related to the extended family saying: “I am stuck in the middle between my spouse/partner and my parents.”
Equal partnership is vital for a healthy relationship. However, what does equal mean to you when it comes to the relationship? Do you have to divide every responsibility to 50%? Alternatively, do you see the equality as an overall assessment of your “give and take” balance?
When we ask for the support from our significant other, especially when it relates to our partners’ behaviors, we want to be as specific as his/her behaviors as possible to avoid it to become a personal attack and so that our partners can understand how we feel.
“No one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone. That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it.” – Paulo Coelho
Just a friendly reminder that you might want to read these articles before you started reading this entry. Family Life Cycle Theory (Reuben Hill, 1949): Stage
Problems are not the problem. Coping is the problem. ~ Virginia Satir It was the spring semester 1996. I took my first class about family