Couple

[Couple Communication] What Really Happened?

premarital 4

Yoga was one of my daily routines. I have been practicing yoga for a few years now but started to get serious after a yoga retreat last year. Going to the yoga class was difficult because of my schedule. So, I often do “YouTube Yoga,” watching yoga at home.

One of the mornings this week, as I was practicing yoga, I paid more attention to the instruction from the teacher while watching my posture in the mirror. Suddenly, I realized that I wasn’t holding the pose as the way the instructor was saying.

It made me realize this: what I do is not what I think what I did in my head. That is, what I did and what I think I did are two different things.

This realization immediately thinks about the communication in the couple’s relationship. How many times we did or said what we think we did or said? How many times what we think we understand is not what we actually heard?

Continue reading “[Couple Communication] What Really Happened?”

Couple

Five things to say instead of saying “Stop Crying.” : “To Be” vs. “To Do” (Part II)

tobe2.pngI had a very rough summer this year. This summer, two of the elders in my family passed away. I struggled to balance my life in the US while returning to Taiwan to be with my surviving family members and to say goodbye to my deceased family members.

As the summer rolled out and the fall rolls in, I can’t help but feeling exhaustion. Death and dying always teach me something about myself and life. It reminds me how I often focused on the things I need “to do” and forget how “to be” with my loved ones. It also reminded me that there are many things in life, such as death, is not about what “to do” but how “to be.”

It got me to think about “to be” vs. “to do” and how it works in one’s relationship with oneself and his/her partner.

Continue reading “Five things to say instead of saying “Stop Crying.” : “To Be” vs. “To Do” (Part II)”

Couple

Words of Wisdom from my Successful Couple: “Can Our Relationship Make it?” (III)

journey

 

As a therapist, I don’t often know the “outcome” of the clients after the termination of the therapy. I only have the information as to how the clients were doing when the session ended but how my clients afterward, I don’t often know.

This past weekend, I have a privilege to spend the weekend with a couple whom I worked with a few years ago. This meeting was the third time we spent the weekend together. It was such a humbling experience to me that I have to write this down to share with you. I see this as my “lesson learned from my successful couple.” Click to read this Journey # 1 and Journey # 2.

Continue reading “Words of Wisdom from my Successful Couple: “Can Our Relationship Make it?” (III)”

Couple

Words of Wisdom from my Successful Couple: “Can Our Relationship Make it?” (II)

journeyAs a therapist, I don’t often know the “outcome” of the clients after the termination of the therapy. I only have the information as to how the clients were doing when the session ended but how my clients afterward, I don’t often know.

This past weekend, I have a privilege to spend the weekend with a couple whom I worked with a few years ago. This meeting was the third time we spent the weekend together. It was such a humbling experience to me that I have to write this down to share with you. I see this as my “lesson learned from my successful couple.” This is the 2nd lesson I learned from them. (Click to read Journey 1.)

Continue reading “Words of Wisdom from my Successful Couple: “Can Our Relationship Make it?” (II)”

Couple

Words of Wisdom from my Successful Couple: “Can Our Relationship Make it?” (I)

journeyAs a therapist, I don’t often know the “outcome” of the clients after the termination of the therapy. I only have the information as to how the clients were doing when the session ended but how my clients afterward, I don’t often know.

This past weekend, I have a privilege to spend the weekend with a couple whom I worked with a few years ago. This meeting was the third time we spent the weekend together. It was such a humbling experience to me that I have to write this down to share with you. I see this as my “lesson learned from my successful couple.”

Continue reading “Words of Wisdom from my Successful Couple: “Can Our Relationship Make it?” (I)”

Couple

A Therapist’s Confession about the Couple Retreat

confession

It’s another weekend retreat finished. I come home with excitement but exhaustion. It’s tiring, very tiring, to stay with a couple’s emotions consistently for the entire weekend, 16 hours. However, in the end, it’s all worth it.

At the end of the weekend, I am exhausted, really exhausted. I always feel like I just helped the couple gave birth to the new relationship after two days and 4 hours in labor. We were all exhausted but joyful to see the new possibility for this relationship.

To the couple that just finished the retreat with me, from the bottom of my heart, I want to say this to you: Congratulations for getting through this hard labor and I am looking forward to hearing your life with this new relationship you just give birth in our follow-up session.

For the couples that just check out this place, I have a confession to make, and I want to share with you the secret of the weekend retreat.

Continue reading “A Therapist’s Confession about the Couple Retreat”