Words of Wisdom from my Successful Couple: “Can Our Relationship Make it?” (III)




As a therapist, I don’t often know the “outcome” of the clients after the termination of the therapy. I only have the information as to how the clients were doing when the session ended but how my clients afterward, I don’t often know.

This past weekend, I have a privilege to spend the weekend with a couple whom I worked with a few years ago. This meeting was the third time we spent the weekend together. It was such a humbling experience to me that I have to write this down to share with you. I see this as my “lesson learned from my successful couple.” Click to read this Journey # 1 and Journey # 2.

Lesson # 3: Self as a Therapist
I walked away from this weekend feeling very humbled and privileged. I am so lucky to get to see the progress of this couple. More importantly, I am so lucky to be able to answer this question:

“ I love my husband/wife, but I am just not in love with him/her. Is there a chance for us?”

The answer is “yes, there is always a chance as long as you want it. It is not easy, but it can happen.”

Marriage is not a smooth ride. Marriage is like a journey. There will be bumps on the road. A lot of times, couples don’t recover from small bumps, and it becomes big wound on both of the partners. However, I saw them face their wound and help each other heal from those wounds that they didn’t think it was possible to heal.

Take Away Point: Consistency and Practice

More importantly, this couple made me so humble. I asked myself: “Can you practice something over and over again for six months?” I am not sure if I can. I remembered going to the training or conference and feeling great with tons of skills and new information. I set up goals to do something with the new materials. Then, a month later, those training materials are in the piles of the papers.

I wish them the best for their future. And, thank you for allowing me to be part of your healing journey.

Are you curious about the “couple retreat” this couple did?
Click to see the details of the retreat.
What is retreat and why I do it?
This is my confession about the couple’s retreat.


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