Just like Scrooges needs the Christmas Spirits to help him get out his slump, you might also need professional help to change the same storyline over and over again every year. Please don’t hesitate to seek the professional help.
Every day, when you cross the items on your list or when you see you conquer certain tasks, it certainly will change your mood from stress and depressed to relief and accomplishment.
Holiday triggers the memories of the family, and the family triggers the memories of unpleasant encounters with the family members.
Remember, if a person is so strongly believe in something, there is usually a personal story, a value, a belief, or past trauma involved.
I plead to you, when someone is telling you he/she is scared, try to understand and try to know the reasons behind it. They all have a valid reason that is beyond who won the election. Only by doing so, we can help these survivors move on and see a sense of hope from their trauma.
Next time, before you convicted your partner, think about this: “We are connected with LOVE.” So, as you hear yourself saying: “here we go again,” stop yourself and give your partner a benefit of the doubt. Asking your partner: “Can you tell me more about that? Explain to me where are you coming from and your rationale.” You might be surprised.
It makes sense to choose the new behaviors but it is so much easier to go with the old habits.
“You did the best you can at the time based on what you know. It’s OK. You can let it go now. It’s not you.”
Forgiveness is not to forgive the perpetrator but to let yourself off the hook.
if all the human emotions are like an iceberg, anger is the tip of the iceberg where we can see it. However, anger is probably only 1/5 of the emotions where people can see it being expressed and there are at least 80% of the emotions no one but only ourselves can see.
I am Dr. Grace Chen, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.
Heal Trauma, Change Pattern, Find Purpose and Fulfillment, Transform Life Path & Relationship
Copyright © 2024 Dr Grace Chen LMFT | All rights reserved.
