“What Ifs” (Part II) — “I trust in myself.”
The treatment goal is for the clients to trust their judgment, to trust their decision-making process, and to trust their crisis intervention. To sum up: to trust yourself.
June 1, 2020
The treatment goal is for the clients to trust their judgment, to trust their decision-making process, and to trust their crisis intervention. To sum up: to trust yourself.
I believe that any part in us used to be a survival strategy, and was once a helper to us. Therefore, the “what-ifs” is a part that is trying to prevent me from facing a disaster. The “what-ifs” was a helper to me once. That’s why I rely on the “what-ifs” currently, and I can’t get rid of this voice in my head. To get rid of “what ifs” I first have to be friends with “what ifs”.
I sprained my ankle last week. Yeah, I know, right? How can this happen?
The answer is: I was too occupied with everything going on. When I got a chance to go out for a run, I was thinking about everything I needed to do and moving my schedule and tasks around my head. So, I didn’t see the stones on the road and by the time I was on the ground, it was too late.
What’s your stress reaction that you are not aware but showing up somatic? In this coming week, pay attention to yourself about your stress reaction.
Here are the channels I have tried and would like to share with you. Before I get into the details of why I like each channel, I want to answer this commonly asked question: how do you know which one you are going to do? My first criteria are “how much time do I have?” Most of the channels created the playlist based on the length of the program. I generally go into the playlist with the time I have. My second criteria are how I feel about my body at the moment. If I feel very sore, I might do a deep stretch. If I feel the need to have more exercise, I might go with a flow type of yoga. Most of the channels provide the playlist that group the similar type of yoga together.
Change is scary, but it helps to take charge instead of being pushed to change.
The physical issues related to anxiety and depression are digestive problems, hormonal imbalances, thyroid disease, poor blood sugar regulation, the wrong type of dietary fats, food intolerances, over-the-counter and prescribed medication, pyrrole disorder, methylation issues, and poor sleep.
Anger is one of the natural emotions, which means we can’t get rid of it. The point is not to get rid of the anger but to experience more positive emotions in our daily lives. I will still be angry when someone crosses my boundary, but I can also experience different feelings instead of being consumed by anger.
Children, without full cognitive, emotional, and brain development, growing up the chaotic household might find the whole chaos incomprehensible and as a result, growing up believing turmoil and uncertainty is the norm of life.
If you didn’t have an adult to provide the boundary of safety to allow you to experience change as a child, find a friend or a therapist to be that adult figure for you. You do not need to do it alone. Let your therapist or your friend help you figure out the boundary between safety and danger. Let this person help you to balance the feeling of anxiety and excitement for change. Let this person accompany you to experience those unfamiliar feelings or unknown territories.
I am Dr. Grace Chen, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.
Heal Trauma, Change Pattern, Find Purpose and Fulfillment, Transform Life Path & Relationship
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