New Year Resolution 2019: Take Charge of the Change
Change is scary, but it helps to take charge instead of being pushed to change.
December 28, 2018
Change is scary, but it helps to take charge instead of being pushed to change.
“No one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone. That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it.” – Paulo Coelho
“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” – Paulo Coelho
If you didn’t have an adult to provide the boundary of safety to allow you to experience change as a child, find a friend or a therapist to be that adult figure for you. You do not need to do it alone. Let your therapist or your friend help you figure out the boundary between safety and danger. Let this person help you to balance the feeling of anxiety and excitement for change. Let this person accompany you to experience those unfamiliar feelings or unknown territories.
Reason # 1: The old pattern used to be a survival strategy or to serve some purpose.
Reason # 2: Change is too scary and unknown.
We all know that personality is generally pretty stable even though the recent studies have shown that personality does change over time for the better (but a slow and gradual process). One of the main reasons the personality change happens when a person chooses to do so to live a meaningful and successful life. So, if no choice is made and no action is taken, a person’s personality can stay the same or change slow and gradually throughout the years.
So, the bottom line is: if you want the change, you are the one who has to make up your mind and to take action.
I am Dr. Grace Chen, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.
Heal Trauma, Change Pattern, Find Purpose and Fulfillment, Transform Life Path & Relationship
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