Heal Trauma, Change Patterns, Find Purposes and Fulfillment, Transform Life Path & Relationship
Epilogue —— Death and Its Lesson
Well, that’s it, I finished my writing with this series, “13 Reasons Why”. This entry will be the last article about this drama series. I hope you enjoyed reading it and I am looking forward to your feedback.
Before I closed my writing on this series for good (unless there is something good to follow up in season 2), I want to talk about the issue of “death.”
Continue reading “From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” — Epilogue”
(Please Read “Facing the Truth about Rape Part I” first.)
Reaction 2: “If it truly happened, why didn’t she do something to stop it?”
“You might say I should have done more. At that moment I was already dead.”
~ Hannah Baker, Ep 12
Hannah said this after Bryce raped her. Her reaction was typical victim’s reaction: frozen. She also was frozen when she witnessed Bryce raped Jessica. So, before we question the victims “not doing more,” the reality is they can’t because their mind and body are in a status of shock and frozen to do more.
More so, we know that many victims lost their lives because of fighting against the perpetrators. At that moment, it’s either fight and possibly lose your life or let the perpetrator hurt you. So, are we blaming the victims who fought to survive for not fighting the rape? Continue reading “From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” – “Facing the truth about rape” (Part II)”
(Please read “I can face my pain now” (Part I) first)
Facing Your Vulnerability
Takeaway Points:
1. Being vulnerable doesn’t mean you are weak. It says you are strong enough to show your true self.
2. Being vulnerable allow you to transform your shame and helplessness into compassion and action.
3. For more information about the vulnerability, please read Brene Brown’s work. This Ted Talk Video in 2010 is a good start. I found it very useful to myself in my journey to become who I am today. Continue reading “From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” — “I can face my pain now.” (Part II)”
“Sometimes things just happened to you. It just happened. You can’t help it. But it’s what you do next counts, not what happened but what you decided to do about it.”
~ Hannah Baker, EP 10
Yes, we can’t control things that happened to us. If I had learned something from being a therapist, that is: “bad things happened to good people and we, as human beings, are very powerless in control the “outcome” of our efforts.” Many people, including myself, have a difficult time to accept the outcome that is not what we desired. Or, we have a difficult time to allow things that are out of our control. Continue reading “From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” — “I can face my pain now.” (Part I)”
(Please read “It’s painful to see it” (Part 1) First. )
Face Your Imperfect Self
Take Away Points:
Continue reading “From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” – “It’s painful to see it.” (Part II)”
“And, yeah, I’m a fucking weak, pathetic loser who ruined the one good thing that I ever had because I wanted a rapist to think I was just like him.”
~ Alex Standall, EP12
Some people have a difficult time to face him/herself, but they are courageous enough to face their true self. To face one’s true feelings, real thoughts, true behaviors, and real reactions from other people are not easy. It brings you extremely painful reactions such as shame, guilt, disappointment, hopeless, etc., and possibly rejection to oneself. Continue reading “From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” – “It’s painful to see it.” (Part I)”
(Please read Facing Your Hurt and Anger Part 1 first.)
Facing Your Hurt and Anger
Takeaway Points:
Continue reading “From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” — “I refuse to see it” (Part 2)”
Justin: Jess, please, I was trying to protect you.
Jessica: Protect me? Seriously?
Justin: I thought if you didn’t know, if no one found out…
Jessica: What? I’d be fine? I’d go about my life? You and I would get married and live happily ever after?
Justin: That’s what I wanted, was for us to to be together. Forever.
Jessica: You let him.
Justin: No, I was drunk. And I was scared.
Jessica: So was I.
Justin: Bryce was at the…..
Jessica: Don’t say that name!
Justin: I’m sorry, it’s just that, every time I was thrown out, when my mom was fucked up, one of her boyfriends was fucking with me he was there for me. When I had no money, when I was starving, his folks bought my shit for school. Okay, when my mom was busted for possession, he got his dad to bail her out.
Jessica: They do that shit so they can own you.
Justin: No. Okay? Last year, I couldn’t afford new shoes for basketball. I went through four pairs that season. When we got to playoffs, they just had, like, holes. Bryce didn’t offer to buy me new shoes. He pretended he had an extra pair.
Jessica: Justin. Are you seriously trying to make excuses for what you did?
Justin: No. I just want you to understand.
Jessica: And I want you to understand what it’s like to be raped. But I truly hope you never will.
~ Justin & Jessica, EP 12
Continue reading “From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” — “I refuse to see it” (Part 1)”
Please Read “I don’t want to see my true self” first.
Facing Your Fear of You
Takeaway points:
1. Fear is an emotion that has no right or wrong.
2. Fear to see our true self is the issue, not fear
3. When Fear dictates your choices, fear becomes the problem.
4. The fear to face our true self is a message to tell us that there are contradictions in our values that we can’t reconcile within ourselves.
(Please read this article, From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth”— “Truth” first to understand the above conceptual map.)
Sadly, most of the people live their lives through the motion. We don’t reflect too much on how we see ourselves, and we don’t think carefully about how we see other people. We tend to focus on the tasks at hand and just try to get through the day.
