[The Myth of Sexaul Abuse # 3] Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s Testimony and the Myth of “lying about sexual assault ” (part II)

sexual assault myth # 3
(I am sorry this entry becomes this long. Please read the first entry here.)

Unable to recall the details

The next paragraph is the first thing caught my eye to believe that her story is true but also used by many people to attach her credibility: lack of details of the events happened before the assault.

I truly wish I could provide detailed answers to all of the questions that have been and will be asked about how I got to the party, where it took place, and so forth. I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t remember as much as I would like to. But the details about that night that bring me here today are ones I will never forget. They have been seared into my memory and have haunted me episodically as an adult. Continue reading “[The Myth of Sexaul Abuse # 3] Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s Testimony and the Myth of “lying about sexual assault ” (part II)”


[The Myth of Sexaul Abuse # 3] Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s Testimony and the Myth of “lying about sexual assault ” (part I)

I was on vacation in Budapest when Dr. Christine Blasey Ford testified in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee. When I woke up that morning, I saw her statement posted on the NPR website. I immediately said to my friend that her story is credible because she displayed the classic symptoms I have seen in all my clients in the past 20 years. That afternoon, we made it back to the hotel room to use the wifi to watch her testimony online.

There are many trauma specialists have pointed out the significance of her testimony in many different ways. Dr. Ford empowered many women who have not yet talked about their sexual trauma in the past. Sadly, many discussions online argued about whether her story was accurate and credible or not. In this article, I wanted to use her statement to point out the symptoms the sexual trauma survivors have experienced and to discuss the arguments of “lies” in the sexual trauma that often added another layer of the wound on the adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse.

Continue reading “[The Myth of Sexaul Abuse # 3] Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s Testimony and the Myth of “lying about sexual assault ” (part I)”

13 Reasons Why, Depression/Anxiety, Trauma

From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” – “Facing the truth about rape” (Part II)

13reasonswhyrape(Please Read “Facing the Truth about Rape Part I” first.)

Reaction 2: “If it truly happened, why didn’t she do something to stop it?”
You might say I should have done more. At that moment I was already dead.
~ Hannah Baker, Ep 12

Hannah said this after Bryce raped her. Her reaction was typical victim’s reaction: frozen. She also was frozen when she witnessed Bryce raped Jessica. So, before we question the victims “not doing more,” the reality is they can’t because their mind and body are in a status of shock and frozen to do more.

More so, we know that many victims lost their lives because of fighting against the perpetrators. At that moment, it’s either fight and possibly lose your life or let the perpetrator hurt you. So, are we blaming the victims who fought to survive for not fighting the rape? Continue reading “From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” – “Facing the truth about rape” (Part II)”


[Myth about Sexual Abuse # 2]—“Who Caused the Trouble?”

CBS News Video

Gymnast Larissa Boyce said she was 16 in 1997 when she complained to MSU coach Kathie Klages that she suspected Nassar was abusing her.
“Kathie came back in the room with just me at this point, and said, ‘Well, I can file something, but there’s going to be very serious consequences for both you and Dr. Nassar,” she said. “And I said, ‘Well, I don’t want to get anybody in trouble.’ I just felt humiliated. I felt silenced. I felt embarrassed.”
~ CBS News, 1/28/2018 Continue reading “[Myth about Sexual Abuse # 2]—“Who Caused the Trouble?””


[Myth about Sexual Abuse # 1]–“What Does A Perpetrator Look Like?”

ideal perpetrator

At the end of 2016, I wrote this article about the sexual abuse and sexual assault with a heavy heart. Now, we are at the end of 2017 with a very different atmosphere. Many of my clients told me that they feel very empowered with so many victims coming forward and receiving support from the public.

I am happy to see the changes in the society to support the victims. If I have learned one thing about sexual assault, that is: there are two injuries to the victims, from the perpetrator and from the people who doubted the victims. Like so many victims coming forward and so many people condemning the perpetrators, all the victims get a sense of hope that they can share their stories without being judged. It also allows the future victims who can openly report the crime without covering it up.

I still remembered that “defining moment” when I made this decision: “I want to work with the survivors of sexual abuse.” It was the winter of 1996. I was a young graduate student in my early 20s. I had done the research paper on the issues of childhood sexual abuse in another class. So, in that class, I decided to “find out” what happened when these children became adults.

In the past 20 years, I have learned to work with the adult survivors of sexual abuse. I have dedicated my entire doctoral training to figure out how to work with adult survivors of sexual abuse and their partners. In this process, I also have learned that an essential part of the job pertaining this issue called sexual assault is the advocacy, de-mystify the myth of the sexual abuse.

So, this is a series of articles dedicated to my clients who are the survivors of the sexual assault. Thank you for allowing to be in your life and to see your recovery process.

Continue reading “[Myth about Sexual Abuse # 1]–“What Does A Perpetrator Look Like?””