Tag: sexual assault

[The Myth of Sexaul Abuse # 3] Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s Testimony and the Myth of “lying about sexual assault ” (part II)

Unable to recall the specifics outside the trauma events but remembering the trauma memory in details is one of the typical symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The traumatic event is like a movie running through the survivor’s head over and over again, and therefore, they remember the details of the specific traumatic events. In the meantime, it also means that “before and after” becomes a blur for the survivors. They generally unable to recall the details of the “before and after” events but only the critical segments because the brain is occupied by the replay of the traumatic events over and over again.

October 3, 2018

[The Myth of Sexaul Abuse # 3] Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s Testimony and the Myth of “lying about sexual assault ” (part I)

No matter what’s the reason we lie, the bottom line is: we lie to get out of trouble or to protect someone.

October 2, 2018

From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” – “Facing the truth about rape” (Part II)

Our first step is to help her feel safe when she is in school or at home, especially when she is at the place where the perpetrator is around. Then, we will have to talk about what’s her next step. No matter she decided to press charges or not, there is always something a counselor can help other than “moving on.” Many victims cannot take the stand to file for the legal actions because we don’t make them believe that we believe their stories and we will be with them along the way. The process of figuring out what she wants to do can take a while already. When the client feels that he/she is locked into a “yer or no” situation, that’s they often feel trapped.

February 18, 2018

From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” – “Facing the truth about rape”(Part I)

What we don’t often think about is the reaction from “the innocent bystander” also have a significant impact on the victims. These reactions include but not limited to: doubt, questions, and implications that the victims “ask for it” and no reaction.

February 17, 2018

[Myth about Sexual Abuse # 2]—“Who Caused the Trouble?”

Who is the actual troublemaker? It is the perpetrator who is the troublemaker but why are we telling the victims that they bring the trouble to everyone if they make the report?

February 12, 2018

From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” — “I can face my pain now.” (Part I)

when you can face the shame, leave the judgment, face your sadness instead of anger, and allow yourself to be vulnerable about your needs, you can transform yourself from helpless and hopeless to compassion towards yourself and others.

February 10, 2018

From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” – “It’s painful to see it.” (Part II)

Your disappointment, shame, guilt, or helplessness about your behavior is not who you are. That’s how you judge yourself. You are bigger than this judgment.

February 4, 2018

From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” – “It’s painful to see it.” (Part I)

When the other people’s judgment on us becomes how we judge ourselves and when that becomes our standards to evaluate ourselves, we are running into the danger to feel disappointment, anger, guilt, and shame about ourselves and these feelings often leads to helplessness and hopelessness.

February 3, 2018

From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” — “I refuse to see it” (Part 2)

1. To be able to see the truth about other people, you have to be able to face the truth about yourself.
2. Alcohol, party, drugs, etc. are just our ways to avoid seeing others and ourselves.
3. To face the truth about other people, you have to be willing to face the hurt and anger in you.
4. Anger comes after hurt even though anger is easier to express. Underlying every angry moment is a hurtful moment we suffered.
5. Anger is powerful, and that’s why it is easier to express. The ability to face the hurt that underlying the anger is the true power within you that no one will ever be able to take away.

January 28, 2018

From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” — “I refuse to see it” (Part 1)

To see the truth about other people, we have to be able to face the truth about ourselves. When we are able to face what we don’t want to see in the other people, we are also able to face the part of ourselves where we want to deny.

January 27, 2018