Tag: sexual assault

Trauma

[The Myth of Sexaul Abuse # 3] Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s Testimony and the Myth of “lying about sexual assault ” (part II)

Grace Chen, PhD. LMFT

sexual assault myth # 3
(I am sorry this entry becomes this long. Please read the first entry here.)

“Unable to recall the details“

The next paragraph is the first thing caught my eye to believe that her story is true but also used by many people to attach her credibility: lack of details of the events happened before the assault.

I truly wish I could provide detailed answers to all of the questions that have been and will be asked about how I got to the party, where it took place, and so forth. I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t remember as much as I would like to. But the details about that night that bring me here today are ones I will never forget. They have been seared into my memory and have haunted me episodically as an adult. Continue reading “[The Myth of Sexaul Abuse # 3] Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s Testimony and the Myth of “lying about sexual assault ” (part II)” →

Trauma

[The Myth of Sexaul Abuse # 3] Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s Testimony and the Myth of “lying about sexual assault ” (part I)

Grace Chen, PhD. LMFT

I was on vacation in Budapest when Dr. Christine Blasey Ford testified in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee. When I woke up that morning, I saw her statement posted on the NPR website. I immediately said to my friend that her story is credible because she displayed the classic symptoms I have seen in all my clients in the past 20 years. That afternoon, we made it back to the hotel room to use the wifi to watch her testimony online.

There are many trauma specialists have pointed out the significance of her testimony in many different ways. Dr. Ford empowered many women who have not yet talked about their sexual trauma in the past. Sadly, many discussions online argued about whether her story was accurate and credible or not. In this article, I wanted to use her statement to point out the symptoms the sexual trauma survivors have experienced and to discuss the arguments of “lies” in the sexual trauma that often added another layer of the wound on the adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse.

Continue reading “[The Myth of Sexaul Abuse # 3] Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s Testimony and the Myth of “lying about sexual assault ” (part I)” →

13 Reasons Why, Depression/Anxiety, Trauma

From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” – “Facing the truth about rape” (Part II)

Grace Chen, PhD. LMFT

13reasonswhyrape(Please Read “Facing the Truth about Rape Part I” first.)

Reaction 2: “If it truly happened, why didn’t she do something to stop it?”
“You might say I should have done more. At that moment I was already dead.”
~ Hannah Baker, Ep 12

Hannah said this after Bryce raped her. Her reaction was typical victim’s reaction: frozen. She also was frozen when she witnessed Bryce raped Jessica. So, before we question the victims “not doing more,” the reality is they can’t because their mind and body are in a status of shock and frozen to do more.

More so, we know that many victims lost their lives because of fighting against the perpetrators. At that moment, it’s either fight and possibly lose your life or let the perpetrator hurt you. So, are we blaming the victims who fought to survive for not fighting the rape? Continue reading “From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” – “Facing the truth about rape” (Part II)” →

13 Reasons Why, Depression/Anxiety, Trauma

From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” – “Facing the truth about rape”(Part I)

Grace Chen, PhD. LMFT

13reasonswhyrape

“Wanna know what’s worse than being a rapist? Hiding behind one. Fucking justifying a fucking rapist, that’s worse.You want to get the story straight? We all know the story. Everything Hannah said on the tapes is true.”
~Alex, EP12

“I think it’s about time we stop think about what Hannah wants but what she needs and Jessica, and every girl who “practically beg Bryce to fuck her”.”
~ Clay Jensen, EP 13.

Years of working with survivors of childhood sexual abuse have taught me this: there are two sources of wounds contributing to the trauma: the sexual abuse itself and the responses from the people close to the survivors. When I was working on my doctoral dissertation, I went back and forth reading the literature debating which one caused the trauma or PTSD. There is no conclusion, and the only conclusion is both of them contributed to the trauma and post-trauma experiences. Continue reading “From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” – “Facing the truth about rape”(Part I)” →

Trauma

[Myth about Sexual Abuse # 2]—“Who Caused the Trouble?”

Grace Chen, PhD. LMFT

CBS News Video

https://www.cbsnews.com/videos/usa-gymnastics-board-members-resign-amid-abuse-scandal/

Gymnast Larissa Boyce said she was 16 in 1997 when she complained to MSU coach Kathie Klages that she suspected Nassar was abusing her.
“Kathie came back in the room with just me at this point, and said, ‘Well, I can file something, but there’s going to be very serious consequences for both you and Dr. Nassar,” she said. “And I said, ‘Well, I don’t want to get anybody in trouble.’ I just felt humiliated. I felt silenced. I felt embarrassed.”
~ CBS News, 1/28/2018 Continue reading “[Myth about Sexual Abuse # 2]—“Who Caused the Trouble?”” →

13 Reasons Why, Depression/Anxiety, Trauma

From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” — “I can face my pain now.” (Part I)

Grace Chen, PhD. LMFT

13reasonswhyvulnerability

“Sometimes things just happened to you. It just happened. You can’t help it. But it’s what you do next counts, not what happened but what you decided to do about it.”
~ Hannah Baker, EP 10

Yes, we can’t control things that happened to us. If I had learned something from being a therapist, that is: “bad things happened to good people and we, as human beings, are very powerless in control the “outcome” of our efforts.” Many people, including myself, have a difficult time to accept the outcome that is not what we desired. Or, we have a difficult time to allow things that are out of our control. Continue reading “From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” — “I can face my pain now.” (Part I)” →

13 Reasons Why, Depression/Anxiety, Trauma

From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” – “It’s painful to see it.” (Part II)

Grace Chen, PhD. LMFT

13reasonswhyshame

(Please read “It’s painful to see it” (Part 1) First. )

Face Your Imperfect Self
Take Away Points:
Continue reading “From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” – “It’s painful to see it.” (Part II)” →

13 Reasons Why, Depression/Anxiety, Trauma

From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” – “It’s painful to see it.” (Part I)

Grace Chen, PhD. LMFT

13reasonswhyshame

“And, yeah, I’m a fucking weak, pathetic loser who ruined the one good thing that I ever had because I wanted a rapist to think I was just like him.”
~ Alex Standall, EP12

Some people have a difficult time to face him/herself, but they are courageous enough to face their true self. To face one’s true feelings, real thoughts, true behaviors, and real reactions from other people are not easy. It brings you extremely painful reactions such as shame, guilt, disappointment, hopeless, etc., and possibly rejection to oneself. Continue reading “From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” – “It’s painful to see it.” (Part I)” →

13 Reasons Why, Depression/Anxiety, Trauma

From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” — “I refuse to see it” (Part 2)

Grace Chen, PhD. LMFT

13reasonswhyhurt

(Please read Facing Your Hurt and Anger Part 1 first.)

Facing Your Hurt and Anger
Takeaway Points:
Continue reading “From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” — “I refuse to see it” (Part 2)” →

13 Reasons Why, Depression/Anxiety, Trauma

From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” — “I refuse to see it” (Part 1)

Grace Chen, PhD. LMFT

13reasonswhyhurt

Justin: Jess, please, I was trying to protect you.
Jessica: Protect me? Seriously?
Justin: I thought if you didn’t know, if no one found out…
Jessica: What? I’d be fine? I’d go about my life? You and I would get married and live happily ever after?
Justin: That’s what I wanted, was for us to to be together. Forever.
Jessica: You let him.
Justin: No, I was drunk. And I was scared.
Jessica: So was I.
Justin: Bryce was at the…..
Jessica: Don’t say that name!
Justin: I’m sorry, it’s just that, every time I was thrown out, when my mom was fucked up, one of her boyfriends was fucking with me he was there for me. When I had no money, when I was starving, his folks bought my shit for school. Okay, when my mom was busted for possession, he got his dad to bail her out.
Jessica: They do that shit so they can own you.
Justin: No. Okay? Last year, I couldn’t afford new shoes for basketball. I went through four pairs that season. When we got to playoffs, they just had, like, holes. Bryce didn’t offer to buy me new shoes. He pretended he had an extra pair.
Jessica: Justin. Are you seriously trying to make excuses for what you did?
Justin: No. I just want you to understand.
Jessica: And I want you to understand what it’s like to be raped. But I truly hope you never will.

~ Justin & Jessica, EP 12

Continue reading “From “13 Reasons Why” to “Facing Your Truth” — “I refuse to see it” (Part 1)” →